Keep music ugly!-Damian’s Theory about Rock N’ Roll

 

I have a younger brother, Damian who’s a hard working dad and a hell of a sense of humor.  Sometimes his humor contains some interesting wisdom.

One time discussing favorite rock bands, Damian came up with a theory.  Basic, yet profound.  “The best rock music was created by guys who were ugly!”

I had to give it some thought and you know what, he’s friggin right!

You want proof?  OK!

The Rolling Stones-These were the Stones in their younger days…Forget now, they were homely looking guys even then!  Seriously!

KISS-You know why they wore makeup?

THAT’S WHY!

Motorhead (Look at Lemmy!  Just look at him!)

Punk’s pioneers:

Iggy Pop and The Stooges

The Ramones

The Sex Pistols

I rest my case!

And, yet…they created some of the best damm rock music EVER!

Oh sure, you say, what about Elvis?  Or The Beatles?  They’re handsome!  They laid the foundation of rock n’ roll! Well the kids though they were handsome, but their parents thought they were ugly JUST ON THEIR HAIRDOS ALONE!

And why does my brother’s theory hold water?  Simple.  When you look ugly yet you have even a nugget of talent, you work twice as hard to hone your artistic skills.  Add in the fact that you’re angry at the world that all the pretty boys get chicks just by good looks alone!  You show those pretty boys that if you’re talented enough, original enough and hungry (and horny) enough, you can shine like a supernova!

Oh and to back up the opposite end of the theory, that crappy music is done by good looking people:

Ladies and Gentlemen:  The current Antichrist of music!

THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE!  Thank you and good night!

Sorry I haven't been posting to here...

...Real life and the news have kept me busy these past two weeks.

I really want to write something about my feelings about the whole series of disasters that Japan has been suffering through, but no amount of words can do much, especially since I don't have any loved ones or friends in that area of the world and that words are not enough in a situation like this. (Although I have donated to the Red Cross and you should too)

But I do feel for Japan, if only because at least half the pop culture I love, starting back when I was a little three year old, came from there. As I got older, I tried to learn more about the over-all culture of the country and how its pop culture related to and reflected it.

One thing I do know is how the shadow of nuclear destruction has hung over the country ever since the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. That shadow has existed in various forms over the decades, from the original Godzilla film, to the destructive psychic blast that opens the Akira animated film. So now, to see this happen for real, albeit in the much slower, but no less deadly form of possible nuclear reactor meltdown instead of the swift and terrible death of a nuclear blast is hard to take.

(As if an earthquake and tsunami wasn't bad enough)

I can only pray that Japan and the world can recover from this, that things, over time will get better, and that it will emerge stronger and better.

A Favor For A Friend

OK, doing this post as a favor. I have a friend who needs to sell his computer parts and accessories. Take a look and if you like what you see, buy something.

http://www.amazon.com/shops/sale_boat_charles

That is all.

Random Thoughts-Trailer Treats

I've seen a trio of trailers at least twice on my recent excursions to the cinema, all part of the first wave of spring/summer films for this year. I feel like sharing my thoughts about them as they all are geared to wanting you to rush to the theater, but while one works, the other two...well, let's get started.

Sucker Punch



The newest film from Zack Snyder (Watchmen, 300, Dawn of the Dead 2004). I'm gonna come right out and say, that as pretty to look at as this trailer is, it's just NOT doing anything for me! I do not feel excited to see this simply because I can't figure out what the hell is going on! How does what is going on in these scenes (Which are supposed to be the imagination of what's supposed to be a teen/20 something girl...YEAH RIGHT! More like a 12 year old boy!) with the drama of the main character being dragged to a Gothic mental institution for killing her ass of a...(dad?...step-dad?) and trying to bust out for some reason.

I don't get it! Are they doing some weird mind control/Matrix experiment on the girls? Plus the fact it's so damn obvious this is such obvious pandering to the Cat Piss Men and Comic Book Guys in the audience (These ladies look WAY too pretty to be inmates at a loony bin).

Maybe the closer we get to the release, we might get more info as to what's going on. But until then, I can't see me seeing it, unless it gets good reviews.


Transformers III: Dark Of The Moon.



OK, I dig how this trailer played out. It's a nice play on the opposite conspiracy theory about the Moon Landing (Not that we faked the Moon landing, but that we did go the Moon...and found somebody's already there!). However...I'll confess, I did not see Transformers II. Why? Oh, I don't know...the fact that almost every fan on-line and most critics said how horrible it was and pointed out why!* (Most having to do with Bay indulging his bad attempts at humor, obvious pandering, bad sense of night/day around the world, racist stereotypes and a muddled storyline.)
So my only hope to see this will be if Bay's worst impulses have been reigned in, we have a keep it simple, stupid storyline and more focus on what fans came to these movies to see, the Autobots and Decepticons beating and blasting the Energon outta each other!

*Yes, I know it did great box office, but it only shows H.L. Mencken's Law still holds true.
("No one ever lost money under-estimating the intelligence of the average American")


Battle: Los Angeles



Now I am looking forward to this! The film seems to be taking a "Cloverfield" approach to the idea of an alien invasion of Earth. Even though it is from a group of Marines, our "heroes" can only do so much in the face of what the trailer says is a world-wide invasion. I like that unlike most alien invasion films, the aliens fight like a true army. Troops on the ground fighting street to street, air support in the form of fighters, bombers and troop carriers, and if I'm correct about the last scene, battle-mechs! The film is not afraid to show innocent civilians get killed and has a feeling of desperation and hopelessness as it appears that the aliens have the advantage and several cities have already fallen to them.(The newscast in the international trailer says communication with New York and Tokyo has been lost) It's got a great apocalyptic thrill to it and makes me what to see it. Hopefully it won't have a lame "Hollywood" ending.

Random Thoughts-Godzilla vs Superman

Channeling my inner geek to the max on this one. Fair warning to all....

My older brother teased me recently when he heard me talking about Godzilla films with an acquaintance that Superman could beat Godzilla. I just wrote it off as him being a jack-ass as usual, but it did get my imagination running. So David, remember, this one's your fault!

OK, The Man of Steel vs The King of The Monsters. This argument is not as clear cut as it seems simply because it depends on one big factor. Which version of Superman and which version of Godzilla are we talking about? Both characters have undergone many upgrades, in terms of powers, ability and personality, over the many years they've been in existence (Godzilla for over 50 years, Supes for over 70).

But thankfully, for the sake of keeping this essay going too long, there are three distinct periods for each character that we can nail down regarding power levels and thus come to some conclusions regarding a possible match.

Age before beauty, let's start with the oldest character, Kal-El of Krypton and his three "ages" of power:



The Golden Age Superman (1930's-1940's): Premiering in Action Comics #1 in 1939, The Golden Age incarnation of Superman was surprisingly underpowered compared to his future incarnations. To start with, he couldn't fly! Only able to leap long and high distances. (Flight would be added later during his popular radio show, where his famous phrase "Up, up and away!" came from.) Telescopic vision but no X-Ray vision, heat vision or cold breath. Had super-speed and endurance and super-senses but not sure how powerful those abilities were. I do know that while he was bullet-proof, a tank shell could hurt him and his strength could make him lift a car or tank, but anything heavier could give him problems.



The Silver Age Superman (late 1950's-mid 1970's): To put it mildly, The Superman of the Silver Age didn't have his powers cranked to 11, he broke the knob and blew out the speakers! All of the over the top abilities fans associated with Supes originated during this run of the character. Some abilities were used once, then forgotten about because the writers came up with them off the cuff for the sake of finishing the story! All a reflection of the kinda over the top adversaries Superman faced off against during this time. (Aliens, giant monsters, The full-on mad scientist version of Lex Luthor, The Bizzaro World, magic users to name a few). Oh and according to one website, he could also be kinda of a dick!



The Modern Age Superman (1980's to now): Modern Age Superman was stripped of his crazier abilities from the Silver Age and toned down to his base powers (Flight, Near god-like strength, speed and endurance plus x-ray, telescopic and heat vision, super senses and breath). Still the strongest of all super-heroes in the DC Universe but he could be hurt by anything or anybody that is equal or over his strength level which includes a number of heavy hitters on both the hero and villain sides.

OK, now for the King of Kaiju! Just as Superman had his distinct eras, so too did Godzilla. (The first two "eras" of Godzilla films refers to the then current Emperor of Japan.)



The Showa Era (1954-1975): Premiering in Japan in 1954 (Then in America in 1955 with Raymond Burr edited in), the first Godzilla film established Godzilla's core powers (Atomic fire breath, amphibious abilities, invulnerable to conventional weapons, tremendous strength and an ability to heal quickly from damage.) with only a few exceptions across the series. (Flying in Godzilla vs Hedorah and magnetic ability in Godzilla vs Mecha-Godzilla). The only weapon able to "kill" him (The Oxygen Destroyer) was used only once (In the first film) due to the creator killing himself with Godzilla (So it would not fall into the wrong hands) Personality-wise, Godzilla would quickly go from being a savage monster and metaphor for the A-bomb to a giant economy size super hero. That was partly to draw in kids who became more of the core audience and because the films were losing out to TV shows like Ultraman which featured monster action for free.



The Heisei Era (1984-1999): After 1975, Godzilla was retired. But nine years later, was brought back in 1984 in The Return of Godzilla (Known in the States as Godzilla:1985). Then, starting with 1989, with Godzilla vs Biollante, a new series was created made of a total of seven films ending with Godzilla vs Destroyah. The series was a reboot of the Godzilla franchise with the first 1954 film as it's base. Godzilla was upgraded in size and mass, but his core powers remained the same, although more powerful than they were in the Showa series. He was also given the ability to absorb and feed off of radiation which fueled his powers. Here, Godzilla was depicted as a living force of nature akin to an earthquake or a hurricane (and about as easy to stop). If he fought monsters (Which he did) it was less being a hero and more like a wolf protecting his turf.



The Millennium Era (2000-2004): Starting with Godzilla: 2000 and ending with Godzilla: Final Wars with a total of six movies. This series is...confusing. You see, while the Heisei and Showa series had their own internal continuity, each movie in the Millennium series, with two exceptions (Godzilla x Mecha-Godzilla and Godzilla:Tokyo SOS) basically have their own internal continuity with 1954 as their base. Godzilla's abilities stayed the same with each film. Although Final Wars had him in a form similar to his late Showa super hero form in terms of speed and fighting.

OK, stats outta the way, let's see how each would do against each other. Keep in mind, we're talking about a straight physical fight. Also keep in mind that:

1. Being smaller, it can be harder for Superman to get in blows that might have effect.
2. Superman, being a thinking being would normally be using both his brain and brawn.

Oh, and if it's late Showa Era Godzilla and any Superman...it wouldn't be a fight, it'd be a team-up! Probably against Lex Luthor and King Ghidorah!

Golden Age Superman vs any Godzilla-I hate to say it, but unless he used his head and fast, Golden Age Supes would be toast! Either version of Godzilla is automatically stronger than him, plus you have to factor in Godzilla'a fire breath and the radiation the early Godzilla gave off. Sorry kids, but in a straight fight, Kal-El 1.0 would be history before he made it.

Silver Age Superman vs any Godzilla-No contest! Silver Age Superman-The guy juggled planets for God's sake!

Modern Age Superman vs any Godzilla-Keep in mind that with Modern Age Supes being able to be hurt by anybody with power equal or over his, it'd be a tough contest. I can see him scoring a victory against the early Showa Godzilla, but it'd be close with the Heisei and Millennium era G's. Honestly could go either way.

And one more factor to consider. David, I know you are technically right in that he could do it, but let's face it. One of the main points about Superman is THAT HE DOES NOT KILL! Even a beast as brutal as Godzilla, Superman would do everything to avoid killing him. If it were a battle where any version of Superman used both his brains and strength, it'd be less a physical brawl and more of Superman using his abilities to divert Godzilla away from wherever he's headed or terrorizing.

So one score for Godzilla, One for Supes and a tie for both. Now shut up Dave and quit trying to annoy my inner geek.


Besides, everybody knows Grandizer would kick both their asses! ;-)

Paul T. Riddell and the Curse of The Green Lantern

All this talk of the upcoming Green Lantern movie makes me think of one question.  “What does Paul Riddell think of this and is he disappointed Denis Leary didn’t make the cut?”

Between 1998 and 2002, Paul T. Riddell wrote for various SF/Fantasy and comic book magazines, fanzines and websites.  (Most of these are long gone)  He also maintained an online collection of his articles, “The Healing Power of Obnoxiousness”  and an e-mail newsletter :The Hell’s Half-Acre Herald”.  What made his stuff worth reading (To me) was his willingness to rip into the general stupidities, not just of SF/Fantasy fandom (“The Church of Saint Spock, The Pointy-Eared”). but also of the industry itself (Bad publishing practices, screwing the writers, lack of mainstream advertising to pull in non-fan readers).  All with a style that was inspired by his own literary heroes, Hunter S. Thompson and Harlan Ellison.

If you can laugh at the following phrase (Slightly paraphrased)  Riddell came up with, perhaps his writing would have appealed to you…If it makes you fly into a rage…well…

Regarding Star Wars…“Although George Lucas may have had the bigger budget, everyone knows Ed Wood was the better writer!”

Despite his best efforts, Paul, realizing he was getting nowhere as far as being a mainstream writer, decided to call it quits, shutting down the site and the Herald.  He did some time blogging on his time working at a credit card call center and a separate blog where he continued his snarky style, but shut both down around 2005/2006 in order to devote more time to one of his strongest interests, raising carnivorous plants.

It’s a shame he’s not online anymore, I always enjoyed his writing, but I can respect his choice to quit and move on if it wasn’t working out.

Paul Riddell is now co-owner and operator (With his wife) of The Texas Triffid Ranch, a nursery devoted to “carnivorous, prehistoric, and otherwise exotic plants.”  If you really are interested in his writing there are three resources:

• Visit the Internet Archive’s WayBack Machine and fill in the field with the address: www.hpoo.com.  Click any entry before mid 2002
• Purchase one (or both) of Paul’s collections of his “best” material:  Greasing The Pan: The Best Of Paul T. Riddell and The Savage Pen of Onan

So what does this all have to do with the Green Lantern movie?  Well, back in April 1996, Paul wrote an April Fool’s article for The Met, a defunct Dallas based weekly paper about a underground film-maker, Edgar Harris (A name Paul would use as a pen name for comedy articles) being hired by Dreamworks Pictures to shoot a Green Lantern film with Mel Gibson as Hal Jordon, Michael Dorn as John Stewart and Denis Leary as Guy Gardner.  The actual point of the article was to criticize how Texas, at the time, screwed over local artists and film-makers.  As Paul later said, it should have been obvious since he says the producer was John Simon Richie (Sid Vicious’ real name) and the head writer was Cordwainer Bird (A pen name used by Harlan Ellison on scripts he wrote that he felt got edited/censored to death) and Paul ended the article with “the whole story could be an April Fool hoax.”

Lo and behold, chronicled in an article he wrote a couple of years later, the article was ACTUALLY TAKEN AS FACT by the fandom community.  Paul painfully recollected how one guy kept calling Dreamworks asking for a release date and the times he overheard at conventions, people taking about the movie and how he had to prove them wrong and claim responsibility for starting it all…and some of them STILL wouldn’t believe him!

So there’s the whole story.  Whenever the REAL Lantern movie will be good remains to be seen.  It just would have been cool to hear what Paul would have thought about it all.

…And it would have been cool to have Denis Leary play Guy Gardener….